Last week, after quite some time, I treated myself to another professional development course. I need that from time to time, either to recalibrate myself or simply to reaffirm an attitude I adopted some time ago.
The course focused on Eric Berne’s (1910–1970) personality model of Transactional Analysis.
The trainer began the seminar by asking us to silently complete the following sentences:
“Human beings are …”
“Human beings strive for …”
As I realised when our seminar facilitator revealed the answers, I had completed both sentences very much in the spirit of Transactional Analysis:
“Human beings are good.”
“Human beings strive for autonomy.”
The first sentence confirmed the mindset with which I had entered the course and made me feel that I was in the right place and attending the right seminar.
The second sentence, together with the definition of autonomy used in Transactional Analysis, made me reflect and moved me deeply. Contrary to the way we commonly understand the term, autonomy is used differently here. It does not refer to purely self-centred self-determination in the sense of: “I am independent of others and make decisions only for myself.” Instead, it is understood through three human capacities that we can use to act without prejudice, should we choose to do so: awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.
- Awareness means perceiving what is actually happening in the present moment, not only around us, but also within ourselves: What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What do I need? Which past experiences or inner voices are influencing the way I see the situation?
- Spontaneity means recognising that we have choices. Instead of automatically falling into familiar patterns, we can pause and ask ourselves: Which response is appropriate for this particular moment? Perhaps we do not need to agree immediately, justify ourselves, withdraw or solve everything on our own.
- Intimacy refers to the ability to engage in open and honest contact. We show ourselves as we truly are and encounter the other person not from behind a role, but as one human being meeting another.
Autonomy therefore does not mean: “I do not need anyone.”
Rather, it means:
I perceive what is.
I recognise my options.
I make a conscious decision.
And in doing so, I remain connected - with myself and with others.
In summary, this means to me that human beings can fully influence their behaviour. The same applies to their thoughts and, to some extent, to their emotions. We are therefore free, autonomous, so to speak, to decide how we want to feel, think and behave. And we can do so without self-interest while remaining in contact with others.
However, this requires us to pause, tune in to ourselves and reassess the situation. This is only possible when we allow ourselves to take breaks and find moments of calm from time to time, so that we can reconnect with ourselves. In this way, we can interrupt the automatic process between stimulus and response and repeatedly make free and conscious choices.
When was the last time you allowed yourself a moment of calm in order to make full use of your autonomy?
Of course, the seminar on Transactional Analysis at the Odenwald-Institut that I attended explored many other aspects and provided me with a number of additional insights, but more on that another time.